Big news! Penguin is publishing a book of my fairy tales called Alice in Tumblr-land: And Other Fairy Tales for a New Generation. Out 11/05!
From the inside flap:
"The Ugly Duckling still feels gross compared to everyone else, but now she’s got Instagram, and there’s this one filter that makes her look awesome. Cinderella swaps her glass slippers for Crocs. The Tortoise and the Hare Facebook stalk each other. Goldilocks goes gluten-free. And Peter Pan finally has to grow up and ge ta job, or at least start paying rent.
Here are more than one hundred fairy tales, illustrated and re-imagined for today. Instead of fairy godmothers, there’s Siri. And rather than big bad wolves, there are creepy dudes on OkCupid. In our brave new world of social networking, YouTube, and texting, fairy tales can once again lead us to ‘happily ever after’—and have us laughing all the way.”
It will be hardcover, with dust jacket, and fancy endpapers. Cream-colored, dark brown ink. Keepin’ it classy.
240 pages of 150 illustrated fairy tales. Over 70% of the stories are new, and nearly every illustration is new.
Certain characters reappear throughout the book—like Alice, Peter Pan, and Cinderella—with an overarching narrative. So you can read it cover to cover and get the larger story, or you can open up to any page and find a laugh.
I tried really hard to make it something special. If you like what you’ve seen here, you’ll love the book. Ryan Gosling is on the first page, so.
I’ll be posting excerpts, new stories, behind-the-scenes videos and photos, and all sorts of other things—including contests to write or illustrate a fairy tale—in the next two months, so follow on Tumblr,Facebook, or Twitter.
PS Please do share the news and book cover! And send me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org if you might want to help be a part of the super-secret street team spreading the word about the book, or if you just want to say hi!
Aladdin’s newsfeed was full of all his friends’ stories of their job acquisitions, wild nights out in Agrabah, and all other pieces of evidence that they were winning at this whole “life” thing. And while Aladdin might have been broke, homeless, and without any marketable skills, his inordinate amount of free time had allowed him to discover that Oreos and Doritos tasted incredible together, so, yeah—he was pretty much nailin’ it.
Chicken Little feared she was being judged at every moment. Whenever she googled embarrassing things, or Facebook-stalked an ex, she always felt a sense of shame afterwards. You can feel safe to act however you want, she reassured herself. There is no one watching everything you do.
The Three Little Pigs each tried different methods for finding a job after college. The First Little Pig perfected his résumé, the Second Little Pig applied to every place he could find, and the Third Little Pig opened another pint of Ben & Jerry’s and cried watching old Nicktoons.
Robin Hood was sitting on a stump overthinking life as usual. Was humanity, at its core, good? Did his existence matter to anyone? Then Little John passed by with a gift for him, just because; it was a gray scarf he’d knitted for Robin himself.
It was like being given physical proof that you are loved and that people are kind. Robin Hood placed it around his neck, his thoughts disappeared, and he just felt so good.
Cinderella was up late at her desk putting together an application for a photography grant, but in her head she kept hearing the voice of her stepmother telling her she would amount to nothing. It felt like the Truth, even though a different voice inside her pleaded that it wasn’t. Finally, she pulled out a Post-It and wrote a message to herself that she stuck on the wall in front of her: You are in control of your own future, you are capable of amazing things.
Then she added another one below that: And fuck anyone who says otherwise.
Snow White didn’t like Mondays, so she sang a song to get her through: “Whistle while you work, and cheerfully together we can—oh my God how have only two minutes gone by somebody kill me now I want to die.”
Rumpelstiltskin tried his best to secure his identity, but every princess he stole a baby from guessed his name after a quick Google search. They also knew his date of birth, favorite movies, and the last ten restaurants he’d “checked in” at.
Robin Hood was questioning his decision to steal from the rich and give to the poor. Sure, it helped on the local level, but what was he really doing to promote equality on a national level. Or on a global level?
After thinking for a while, he determined that even though the work he did was very small, there was a ripple effect, so it was still a valuable endeavor. Plus the ladies loved it.
The Frog Prince knew all he needed to do was kiss a girl and he’d be turned back into a human, so he went to the bar and pulled off his signature move: Standing in the corner praying that someone would approach him.
The Ugly Duckling was at the bar, reading at a table in the corner. She didn’t come to bars to meet men, she didn’t concern herself with her love life. She was interested in more important things: Art, the human condition, the fight to end poverty.
Then the guy she’d been eyeing all night left with this girl who was wearing some weird floral jeans or something. It’s always the manic pixie girl that gets the guy, she thought, Fuck you, manic pixie girl!